Are
You Feeling Your Relationship is Going Nowhere?
At times you know when you’re
about to get dumped and other times it just comes out of left field. Either
way, it hurts. It is often better not to know so you don’t start getting clingy
and behaving irrational, thus removing any doubts your lover has about getting
rid of you.
Here are the top five signs that
you are about to get dumped in a relationship:
1. He or she suddenly has a new
hobby or new friends.
You were
looking forward to the end of their football season with the guys when he said
he was going to be able to spend more time with you, only to find out he joined
a basketball club. Or she met her long lost friend from high school at the
supermarket and now needs to go out with her every Friday night.
New
hobbies or friends usually indicate someone else in their life. Or the fact
that they just need some breathing room. If you are like most people, you will
begin to panic and become even more clingy. You may even start following him or
her to see if they are truly going to basketball or with their friend. Whether
or not they actually have a new friend or hobby is inconsequential. Something
tipped you off that all was not well before they even mentioned this. If you
had full trust in your partner, you wouldn’t even be concerned about the new friend
or hobby. Chances are that you felt them pulling away from you prior to this
announcement.
2. He or she is suddenly too busy to
call you.
This
happens to everyone. You may talk to your significant other on the phone every
day and then one day….viola! They are nowhere to be found. This may be due to
some emergency. But if they are calling you less and less, guess what? It means
that they are thinking about you less and less as well.
This is
very circumstantial, however. If the two of you live together, for example,
then the other party may just be comfortable in the relationship to realize
that they don’t have to be on call 24/7. If you have only been dating for a few
months this could indicate a loss of interest.
You can
combat this by simply not answering the phone and playing the same game when he
or she calls. But you won’t. Chances are that you will begin calling the other
party. Repeatedly. Thus hastening the breakup that was, sadly inevitable
anyway.
3. He or she gives you verbal hints.
“I don’t
want to hurt you,” may be said in the middle of a conversation. This is a big
clue that someone is concerned enough about your feelings that they want to
lower the boom gently. They don’t want to let the breakup be a shock, but they
know that the relationship isn’t going to work, even if you don’t. There are a
variety of verbal hints that people give to “prepare” the other party for the
inevitable breakup.
Most of
us don’t listen to the verbal hints. It is like someone is putting up a danger
sign on the highway and flagging us to pull over, but we continue ahead at full
speed as if we didn’t even see them. When we get dumped, we’re shocked. We act
like we were blindsided. We weren’t - we just refused to listen to the verbal
hints.
4. He or she gives you physical
clues.
They pull
away from you in an embrace. They are no longer interested in being intimate
with you. They spend less and less time with you and appear impatient. They
exhibit body language designed to keep you at bay. They do not look you in the
eye when they speak to you.
We can
learn a lot about people by observing their body language. In most cases, a
person who sits open towards us, looks us in the eye when they speak and
touches you during the conversation is interested in you. Those who move away
as if you have a raging case of leprosy, are generally uninterested. Do we look
at the physical clues and pay heed? No - we are too wrapped up into what we are
feeling to pay attention. Again, when the dumping ensues, we act as if we have
been the victims of a surprise attack. We just refused to spot the physical
clues.
1. He or she doesn’t call you or return your calls
This is a
good indication that they are not interested in you but don’t have the guts to
dump you. Most men and women are not sadistic and would rather have their teeth
pulled out by pliers than tell someone that they don’t want to see them
anymore.
In my
Opinion, Men are way worse at dumping than women. Women learn as little girls
how to really rip out someone’s heart as it’s practiced on playgrounds
everywhere. Little girls are probably the meanest creatures there are - they
would give Castro a run for his money. However, as we grow in to adults, we
soften and realize that it’s not okay to be nasty to other people. To their
face.
Women
usually have no problem telling a guy they don’t want to see them anymore. They
will simply say, “I don’t want to see you anymore, leave me alone”. The odd
thing is that some men seem to take this as an act that the woman is playing ”coy” or “hard to get” and
continue to pester her. Until she gets a restraining order.
This
is not to say that women seek to hurt a man’s feelings. This is far from truth.
Timing is everything in a relationship from a woman’s standpoint, too. Women
are most apt to give hints and try to end the relationship gradually, without
hurting the man’s feelings. Although women can be cruel as children, they are also
taught not to offend. It will take a while
for a woman to dump a man, but chances are that she will be direct when he
continues to take the hints.Most men
would rather face a firing squad than talk about a relationship much less end
one. If you have ever been to the house of a single man, you may notice that he
has everything he has ever owned, including the trophy he won from the science
fair when he was in the 5th Grade. This is because men hate to toss out
anything - particularly women who were at one time willing to have sex with
them.
Because
of this, men are more apt to do the ”no call” routine
when breaking up. They hope that by not calling you, you will just leave them
alone until they decide they want you again.
Most
women take exception to this strategy and demand an explanation. Men rarely
tell a woman that they, ”never want to see them anymore”, unless something
drastic has occurred. In most cases, a man will dance around any sort of
commitment to breaking up better than Muhammad Ali ever could in a boxing
match.
You know
before it happens, in your heart, that you are about to get dumped. Although
you have refused to acknowledge the hints or actions of the other individual,
your subconscious picked up on them and you know that something is wrong.
Still, getting dumped always comes like a knife in the heart. In most cases,
however, it is merely the coup de grace after a long duel. >>LEARN MORE<<
